The Power of Praise.
In the 1980s, Billy Crystal—imitating the accent of the swarthy Argentinian actor Fernando Lamas—enacted a variety of skits with one of the greatest catchphrases of the 20thcentury, “Let me tell you something, darling, YOU LOOK MAAAR-VELOUS!” It resounded with Americans for the next 20 years. It was the compliment of all compliments. And still makes me smile. 🙂
–Get a compliment. A compliment can feel as good as receiving cold, hard cash. Yup. Research shows we have a section of our brain that handles the rewards we are about to receive. The reward-related brain area—the ventral striatum—activates to release dopamine; it feels pleasurable, gives us a high, and we want more.
–Give a compliment. Giving a compliment offers the same pleasure to the giver as to the receiver. It’s a two-way gift. Our brain handles the potential compliment, getting or giving, as a reward.
–Be sincere.
Insincerity is easy to spot and not appreciated. So find even a little something to praise. “Love your new hairstyle, Audrey!”
–Be secure. Graciously accept a compliment. When someone comments on your new suit, a cheerful, “Thank you!” sounds more confident than, “This old rag?”
–A spark. A compliment can be a rush, a spark of positive energy. We feel so good that our productivity increases. We want to work harder, better.
–Ease tensions. The tension among stressed out adults and kids, young and old, male and female, ebbs with a smile and a compliment, “I’m proud to know you.”
–Praise. Something happens when we receive praise, we want to live up to that praise. We want to praise in return, “You’re quite good at organizing the office.”
–Pixie dust. Compliments are magical, the pixies sprinkle them around to help us soar. We now see the possibility of realizing our dreams.
–Let the sunshine in. The greatest reflection of sunshine is a smile. Try it. Smile and let your own light shine on someone who looks, well, less than shiny. It’s an unspoken compliment, “I love your smile, it just lights up the room!” Now, watch the smile appear.
–Pop, pop. I read a cute compliment recently, “You’re more fun than bubble wrap!”
Everyone needs to be admired and appreciated. Just part of the human experience. And giving little heartfelt compliments intensifies feelings of self-esteem and worthiness for the recipient, as well for you, the giver.
Get a compliment, give a compliment, “Darling, you look MAAAR-VELOUS!”
