Forget the failure.
So, we’ve become experts on recognizing and ruminating over our failures. Some of us even take our missteps to an obsessive level as we struggle to overcome shortcomings.
New Flash: Mistakes should be examined then set free. Bye Bye Birdie.
Since childhood we’ve heard the popular adage, “Learn from your mistakes.” But what do we learn by focusing on failure, on being wrong? We learn what not to do, over and over, and over again. But we still don’t know what to do.
Feedback, easy does it.No matter how well intentioned, supervisor feedback often concentrates on failure as well. After we’ve chastised ourselves, supervisors take over and replay our weaknesses! Thanks a bunch.Harvard lecturers Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone in their article Find the Coaching in Criticism, say that feedback often, “…sparks an emotional reaction, injects tension into the relationship and brings communication to a halt.”
The basics. We humans have a basic need for acceptance; a need to be admired and respected. And acknowledged for our wins and triumphs. Now, we know what to do, “Focus on success.”
Learn from your successes. Professor Adam Kepecs of the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory says that when we relive victories, positive behavior is reinforced. Dopamine is released in our brain and we gain a rush of confidence and assurance to not only repeat but beat our current levels of achievement.
Focusing on the misconception that we must learn from our mistakes often fosters feelings of low self-esteem and hopelessness. So, get your neurons firing and form new memories of success. Studies have shown that brain cells hold onto successful behavior, actually multiplying the effect. And whoever gets tired of too much success?
