The pain of clutter
Feel pain when you need to get rid of clutter? Me too. This Clutter Bunny has a tortured relationship with stuff, more painful than being stretched on The Rack.
Many of us have packed drawers, stacked desks and crammed storage. Remember the movie 27 Dresses? Katherine Heigl’s character cannot part with her 27 bridesmaid dresses, no matter how ugly. So she saves them all in an overflowing closet that requires a running jump just to shove the door closed.
What about the garage—once carefully guarding our cars from the destructive elements? Now a sardine can barely swim through the sliver of a footpath to the house. And the car? My friend Barbara confessed that she and her husband NEVER park their cars in the garage. Their $80,000 matching BMWs sit outside collecting grease and grime while a $1,000 mishmash rests secure, covered, protected, even heated inside the garage!
Clutter creeps up slowly. It feels good to possess, to own, to collect. First a few items and papers, “I’ll deal later.” But later comes and goes, the clutter does not. Year after year with promises renewed. Stack upon stack. And the thought of getting rid of stuff creates pain, headaches and anxiety. And can lead to, dare I say, hoarding.
The reaction is normal. It actually hurts your brain to think of purging your precious possessions. Yes, PAIN.
Researches at Yale identified two areas of the brain that create pain, the anterior cingulate cortex as well as the insula. Both areas light up like Christmas at the thought of letting go. The emotional pain of loss is the same as physical pain you experience with a paper cut or a burn. Ouch!
The connection of the ACC-insula signals the brain that something’s wrong and the brain tries to avoid pain or anxiety, so smokers smoke, drinkers drink and hoarders hoard.
Boxes stored on the floor and junk in the garage where a car should go? Clutter Bunnies understand your pain. For 20 years I stored a lovely 8-piece antique silver tea service, turned black; my grandmother’s delicate china and countless beautiful items in the attic. As I moved over the years, my boxes moved from attic to attic. During my last move I made a pledge to show it, not stow it. I began selling, consigning and donating what I did not want to show.
I must confess, buying a bigger house allows me the luxury of displaying all of my valuables and I love looking at every one. When an item no longer holds my attention and I no longer want to show it, I won’t stow it, I’ll throw it!
