“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.” Douglas Pagels
1. Pillar of Support.
Friends should help support and guide each other, but never criticize. The world is a rough place full of challenges to our self-confidence. Disapproval and fault-finding are all too commonplace. Find a way to show approval and understanding. Remember, friends need friends, not a devil’s advocate.
2. Staying Power.Let your friends know you’ll always be there no matter what they’re going through. Be kind and trustworthy; tell your friends they can confide their feelings without judgment or a dismissal like, “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
3. Comfort Zone.
In the classic movie Blast from the Past, the Brandon Fraser character Adam Webber tells a friend that a gentleman (or woman) is someone who makes certain those around them always feel comfortable, never awkward or uneasy.
4. Communicate.
Be proactive. The saying is true, “If you want a friend, be a friend.” Never be too busy to contact a friend. Technology allows us to communicate with a quick email or text just to see how our friends are doing. The excuse “I’m so busy,” doesn’t hold water anymore. All it means is “I’m too busy for friendship.” Anyone can find four seconds for a text.
5. Dream a Little Dream.Encourage your friends in their hopes and dreams. Sometimes when we go through a serious crisis, all we have for the present are our dreams, our hopes for the future and a better life.
6. Craving Closeness.We need someone who understands, someone who “gets” us. Someone who offers a shoulder to lean on. C.S. Lewis states, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
7. No Accident.
Friendships, both personal and business, take nurturing and dedication to survive and thrive. O. Henry in the Heart of the West tells us “No friendship is an accident.” Meeting someone can be accidental, but the art of friendship is purposeful, filled with meaningful connections. And a special gift for making—and keeping—friends and bringing the world a bit closer. The first step in friend-making is placing yourself among people you don’t know. Treat every interpersonal situation as an opportunity to add a new friend.
In an effort to improve my own friendships, I’ve promised myself to contact at least two or three friends every week. I just wrote a quick email to my friend Barbara and found out that she just had a bad sciatica attack. She never would have complained and I never would have known if I hadn’t reached out.
